Recently I found I got some problems on social contact. I appeared to be a little cold and complicated which I don’t want others to be impressed this way. But on a second thought, is it a personal issue? No, it’s not. It is a cultural thing.
Many of my friends who had stayed at Beijing for a period of time told me that they didn’t like Beijing. Let alone the air pollution and poor traffic condition, they found Beijing people are cold. What about shanghai? Shanghai is an international place with better traffic. Most foreigners enjoy their daily life here. Shanghai is greatly affected by western culture. We appear to be more enthusiastic, but some time, people still happen to be ‘cold’ and ‘complicated’. Chinese’s quality of being reserved can be seen from Beijing and shanghai.
Chinese people’s personality is like the dim sums（sweets） in China, such as mooncake, dumpling and pastry which have fillings inside. The dim sum can also be said as sophisticated food.:) I think that Japanese and Chinese have the common quality on this point. We both emphasize the strong self-control towards emotions, behaviors, desires and expressions of ideas. In ancient china, if a person could always keep calm at any situation, then he is sophisticated and could be trust . We often appreciated this kind of people.
In some literary works of ancient china, being reserved is praised highly. A sophisticated person wouldn’t express his happiness, sadness or anger easily. In ancient Chinese poems, poets always display a nature scene to express a certain feeling, make metaphors of philosophy or criticize the society. It is really an art to beat around the bush in our eyes.
No others send speechless message with eyes better than us which perfectly reflects our personalities of being reserved. In china, girls are supposed to smile without showing teeth. We prefer to express feelings with eyes. The girls with beautiful eyes and brows are more popular and welcomed in china.
Maybe the dim sum life style of Chinese make the people don’t understand us feel uncomfortable. I realized this problem and trying to fix it. The dim sum way makes communication inefficient and they are not good for setting up bonds with friends or lovers and maybe not good for physical and mental health…So send compliments to others, make your points directly and express your feelings… we really need it.